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Week 4 Storytelling "The Jump"

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Cold shivers ran the length of Psyche’s spine as she contemplated the crashing waves breaking against the sharp rocks hundreds of feet below her.  Tears streamed down her cheeks, aided by the frigid wind and brought on by the terrible sadness in her heart.  She glanced back at her family, at her loving parents, at her weeping sisters.  This was the last time she would ever see their faces.
Her heart stopped as she leapt, every muscle in her body clenched and her vision went black as the rushing air slipped past her small frame.  She was acutely aware of her own beating heart, its dull drumbeat strangely isolated from her own screams and those of the wind.  Then, everything was black.
She opened her eyes, not to the sight of the underworld, but to the rushing ocean.  The wind whistled around her and she realized that she was flying through the air, rapidly, propelled by some invisible hand.  She started, and nearly fainted again as the memory of her jump was brought back to her consciousness.
Psyche wondered aloud what was happening, and a gentle voice answered her confused plea.
“I am Zephyr, servant of your betrothed.  He has tasked me with taking you to your new home and caring for your safety”
But poor Psyche could not understand the breathy words as they flew around her.  The only thing she could remember was sight of the waves crashing into the rocks at the foot of the cliff.  How had she not died? What had happened?  Where was this invisible cloud taking her?  And who would be her husband?
These questions haunted her as she collapsed back into sleep, exhausted.  When she finally awoke again, the sun was about to set, and its golden ray illuminated an unbelievable sight.  A giant mansion, constructed of glittering metals and gems stood mounted on a green hill.  The craftsmanship was unbelievably fine, and Psyche thought that she must be dreaming once again.
“Where am I? What is happening?” she asked into the wind.

“You are home,” the disembodied voice replied. “Welcome.”

Author's Note:This short story is based on an excerpt from Apuleius and His Golden Ass, Translated by Tony Kline. In the original story, an old woman recounts the tale of Psyche and Cupid to a young captive girl.  In the tale, Venus, the mother of Cupid becomes jealous of the beauty of Psyche and the attention it brings her.  She asks her son to do something about it, and Psyche is ordered to seemingly kill herself by leaping from a cliff in order to appease the gods and save her family.  It turns out however, that Cupid himself has fallen in love with her and rescues her with his servant Zephyr.  However, he keeps his own identity hidden, even after Psyche and he are married.  The original tale only briefly dealt with Psyche's self-sacrifice and I wanted to bring more detail to what was surely a traumatic experience for the young woman.

Comments

  1. Hey Blake, great story!! You wrote that really well! I felt like I was in Psyche's place! The imagery you used was fantastic, and this scene was definitely missing in the original version of the story! This really gave us Psyche's perspective in that moment. Thanks! I also really liked the image you used; it's so pretty! I look forward to reading more of your work!

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  2. Hey Blake! What an interesting decision to explore the beginning of Psyche's story more. I think you are correct in believing that there must be more to this scene than what people give it credit considering that all the attention is usually on everything that happens after this. One thing that struck me was the juxtaposition between the serenity and calmness of the writing and the intensity of what was going on this scene. For example, her family is watching their beautiful daughter/sister being forced to jump to her death and we only "see" them from Psyche's perspective when she looks back at them. The only description is that the sisters are weeping. To me, weeping is a powerful, but calm word. Whereas I picture there would be screaming. Perhaps the mother is pleading for her daughter's life until the end. The father may sit defeated, his head in his hands, unable to watch. But I love hearing what Psyche is thinking as she is taken away! Overall, good work!

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  3. Blake, this your storytelling seems very refined! You have done a great job with this. The way you introduced the wind, Zephyr, was very original. I have heard of Zephyr, yet did not assume that it would be him saving Psyche until you announced him. I was intrigued with how you introduced Psyche, as you made her very easy to identify with. I immediately wondered why the girl was so distraught that she was on the edge of a cliff about to commit suicide, and why her family was watching her and not seeming to help. It was a good idea to start the story where you did, instead of giving the context beforehand. This really helped draw me in and made the events more surprising. The only "what if" question that I could think of was what if Psyche had known that Cupid was the one to force her to jump and to also save her? Would this have changed their relationship dynamic? Very good job with this story!

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  4. Wow! Really nice job! I did not actually read the story of Psyche and Cupid, but I read several other people's retelling and I have to say I totally missed this part of the story. You did a great job dramatizing it. I particularly like how much character you gave to Zephyr. The only thing that was not quite clear to me was why she was going to jump - I did not realize she was sacrificing herself for her family.

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  5. Hey Blake, even though your story is short, it is very well written and is an amazing read! I love your vocabularies and the way you describe every single details, such as when Psyche is falling or about the mansion of Cupid. Your story makes me want to check out the original writing because this love story seems quite...thrilling. At the beginning, I was a bit confuse because I did not know why Psyche had to sacrifice herself, but after reading your author's note, I finally understand why. Overall, I really enjoy reading your story and looking forward to read more from you!

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  6. Hey, Blake, first of all, well done. Your descriptions are well written and really draw the reader in. You can really see the picture in your mind as you are reading and you can almost feel what Psyche felt. I am also such a fan of taking a story and telling it from a perspective that is different from the original. Telling the story from Psyche's point of view was such a great choice, it works very well and makes the story compelling. Nicely done!

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  7. Hi Blake! You seem to have such a knack for writing and it really showed through the way that you did this piece. I generally love pieces that change the point of view because I am always so intrigued by what someone else might be thinking during certain situations. I would love to go back and reread the original that you based this one off of so that I could understand a little bit better where everything is coming from. Great job!

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Hi! My name is Blake Allred and I am majoring in International Relations with a minor in Spanish.  I chose this major because I love travelling and meeting new people and learning about their cultures and traditions.  One of my favorite things about the classes I take is the chance that I have to meet other people from a very diverse range of backgrounds.  If all goes well, I will be graduating this semester, so this part of my college journey is coming to an end.  I’m still not sure how I feel about this, it is kind of a mixture between excitement and dread, but overall, I am glad I could have such a wonderful experience here at OU and that I am now able to graduate. This summer we went on a family vacation to visit my grandparents who live in rural Colorado.  My grandpa is a retired pilot and owns his own plane and built his retirement home right next to a remote airstrip.  When we went there this summer, I was able to go out flying with him and even f...

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